For my father

My father was the teen 

who just wanted out

Who just wanted to be done

With his family

The child who saved up his quarters 

For arcade games and soda

He was the father

Who loved his family 

His kids

His wife 

His life

And even though

He couldnt manage to keep it or himself  together

He never let go

And he never let anything 

come between him

And his family

And I will never forget 

That to him

Family was always more

And no matter what 

No matter how stupid we were

Or what choices we make 

we would always be family

And that is more

More than any girlfriend 

Any party

And any work friends 

He could ever have 

And he will always 

Be the dad who taught me to play baseball

Who took me to every game

Who bought me soda And candy 

And basically any book

Or sport equipment

I ever wanted

And the truth is I suck at sports

But I will always love them

Until the day I die

I will love them

I will be humming the tune

Take me out to the ball game

Until the day I die

Because he did 

And he bought me hot dogs

And taught me how to spit seeds

And how to be tough 

And how to throw a ball

Catch a ball 

Hit a ball

Dribble a ball

And how to be competitive

He taught me that I could do anything

my brothers could do

And I proved it 

By being the best at every sport

And by being the first child 

to start on mission papers

And even though he doesn't believe what I do

He 100 percent supports me 

and my brothers 

On going on a mission

And he supports me dating a missionary 

And working for said missionary's family

And he just wants me to be happy

And to never give up

Because he knows he taught me 

to be competitive 

for a reason

If my heart were a house

If my heart were a home

 it would be broken

Wrenched in half 

like a doll house

It's Dysfunctionality 

displayed for all to see

One room is daddy issues

One is mommy issues

One is step dad issues

The other is girlfriend after girlfriend issues

There are school issues

And growing up issues

And I never signed up for this issues

There are abandonment issues

And there is an attic full of hope

With a window so big you could leap out of it

Or stare out all night 

and feel like a part of the night sky 

There are holes in the roof that insure this

And a constant melody of crickets 

And old rock music 

I'd like to say the moon and stars 

are in this attic

But that depends on whether or not 

you believe

And all the boards seem to be

 a worn out grey

And the roof still bears some black shingles 

Almost as if it had been nearly burnt down 

Some years ago

And who's to say it didn't 

when all seems well

It is because it's been closed up

You can still see in through the windows

Just enough

To catch a whiff of the dysfunction 

To know to steer clear 

To not undo the latch

Because it doesn't stay closed well without it 

But the gaping window in the attic

Still seems to draw some in

the warning on the box says

Do not get invested in this heart

Please keep away from small children 

And the light of heart

Take care when closing If you close it while your appendages or feelings are inside

It Can inflict pain pinched skin bruising 

and heart break

Hearts that are broken 

while this product is in use 

are not under warranty 

and users will not be compensated

do not feed this product chocolate

If product is fed chocolate 

The warranty will no longer be valid

no returns will be taken

And refunds will be minimal at best

On occasion poetry will spill out of it

do not read the poetry

please treat them like soliciting phone calls

Because if you give it hope

The calls will never end

Please do not give it poetry in return

Because No refunds or returns 

Can save you

Past that point

For my mother

My mom was the woman 

who grew up so fast 

she forgot to do the growing

The teen who loved the rebel life 

But never really took part in it

The girl that beat up the boys on the playground

And never wanted to date anyone

Now she's the woman 

who was abandoned

Now Never truly appreciated

And never truly done

because she 

has passed elementary school 

and middle school 

twice now

And she has her son's graduation to prove it

She runs her daughter to work every day

And convinces her to actually buy clothing 

Instead of always getting rid of it

She also happens to be 

the part time therapist

Of her mother in law 

Who lives in her basement

She is a motivational speaker

To her 20 year old son

Who could be so much more

And she never stopped trying

because she doesn't want to let go

And even though 

I may disagree with her

from time to time

I will always respect her

for how far she's come

And for never giving up

And I owe her this