letters to the man in the moon.

letters to the man in the moon.

i wrote you my first letter when i was 11

i told you i was lost
and i told you i was scared and that i didn't like being lost
but that i was also afraid of being found

i wrote you a lot that year but most of it was repetitive

i said i was lonely
i said that i was tired of being surrounded by lonely people
i said i wasn't ready to stop being lonely
i said it was hard being around un-lonely people

when i turned 12 i wrote you more

i said i was tired
i said i was ok
i said not to worry
but to never believe me because im really good
at not looking lonely

at 13 my letters turned to

thank you
and please dont give up on me

at 14 my letters got desperate

im sorry its always you i turn to
im sorry its always you
im sorry but i can't do it
im better off being alone

at 15 i finally took a break

i wrote you a few "thanks"
and a few "im tryings"
i remember crying myself to sleep
on nights that all i could say was "thanks"

at 16 i gave in

i know i said i was ok
and i am
but i also told you to never believe that line
so you should have seen this coming

I spilled my heart out to you for hours

and that made everything ok

at 17 i met a boy

a boy i kept mistaking for the moon

because we talked like the night sky
were the only barrier between us

but he talked back

and i found that i loved nothing more
than being his moon

and slowly he became mine.

we were two peas in the pod
two lights in the night sky
 and we were more constant than any moon
and he was always there.

at 18 my moon boy left

but i found as i talked to the moon
i would ask him

"please send my love to the boy a few stars over"

and i knew he would pass on the message.

If my heart were a house

If my heart were a home

 it would be broken

Wrenched in half 

like a doll house

It's Dysfunctionality 

displayed for all to see

One room is daddy issues

One is mommy issues

One is step dad issues

The other is girlfriend after girlfriend issues

There are school issues

And growing up issues

And I never signed up for this issues

There are abandonment issues

And there is an attic full of hope

With a window so big you could leap out of it

Or stare out all night 

and feel like a part of the night sky 

There are holes in the roof that insure this

And a constant melody of crickets 

And old rock music 

I'd like to say the moon and stars 

are in this attic

But that depends on whether or not 

you believe

And all the boards seem to be

 a worn out grey

And the roof still bears some black shingles 

Almost as if it had been nearly burnt down 

Some years ago

And who's to say it didn't 

when all seems well

It is because it's been closed up

You can still see in through the windows

Just enough

To catch a whiff of the dysfunction 

To know to steer clear 

To not undo the latch

Because it doesn't stay closed well without it 

But the gaping window in the attic

Still seems to draw some in

the warning on the box says

Do not get invested in this heart

Please keep away from small children 

And the light of heart

Take care when closing If you close it while your appendages or feelings are inside

It Can inflict pain pinched skin bruising 

and heart break

Hearts that are broken 

while this product is in use 

are not under warranty 

and users will not be compensated

do not feed this product chocolate

If product is fed chocolate 

The warranty will no longer be valid

no returns will be taken

And refunds will be minimal at best

On occasion poetry will spill out of it

do not read the poetry

please treat them like soliciting phone calls

Because if you give it hope

The calls will never end

Please do not give it poetry in return

Because No refunds or returns 

Can save you

Past that point