Crybaby heart

I think I've lost my mind

Because I see you in every thing 

I see your eyes in blue sky's

And your smile in the clouds

And I hear your voice in the sunset

I hear your singing accompany the crickets 

And your laugh in the wind 

And I know it's only been 3 months since you left 

And I know that means I have 21 left 

But I day dream about you

And every night my fingers ache 

Ache to be intertwined in yours 

And my heart feels just a little more alone 

Like my ribs were never really company

But mearly the bars on its crib

Because it's crying 

Because it wants to be held 

And it wants to be heard 

But I don't indulge in pity

Or making others worry 

So I'll keep the screaming at bay 

With the lullaby 

Of nearly suffocating lungs 

And rememberig to breathe 

Because I used to complain 

That I never felt hungry 

Because I missed you

But apparently 

that may just be a side affect of bronchitis 

Which I don't think I told you I had

But now my stomach is so emotionally gone that all I have is a sense of numbness 

And the only feeling left 

Is my crybaby heart

That doesn't seem to want to sleep 

Because who knows if you are safe

And who knows if you still love me

And who knows if I will make it that far

Because I hear you are losing weight 

But I'm afraid there will be nothing left to hug

And afraid you will realize 

You can do better than me

But I've taken over your family

Which was like a pacifier to my heart

And an Advil to my mind

Because I don't want you to ever stop loving me

I'm surprised

Because I never thought

I would ever like humidity this much

Because I never thought

I could last this long without you

Because days turn into weeks so fast

And rainy days seem to be the only thing 

That reasures me

Because bronchitis is a pain in the butt

And it seems to never go away

Because people are just strangers 

Until you make them into friends

And I've never been very good at that

Because a language barrier is huge

But an ocean is bigger

And seeng monkeys in the field 

And around the house

Isn't quite the same 

when the monkeys aren't people

And I am 

surprised

Just how far I've come

Odd pairs

Smiles and butterflies

Because both are fleeting 

And I always wonder if they are real

Umbrellas and skipping

Because I've never 

experienced both at the same time

Because rain 

was made to be overbearing 

just like me

Girls and video games  

Because I never thought 

having them together 

was a big deal

Anime and real life

Because no two things 

could ever be further apart

My family and outings 

Because we never seem to go out

But when we do

We call it torture

Japan and lights 

Because I never thought Japan 

would have this many lights

Water and skin

Because nothing seemed to fit better 

Until fingers become prunes

And water becomes lukewarm

Japan and me

Because I swear 

we were destined to meet 

And I don't want to go home