I'm not scared, at least as far as you know

I not scared

I'm not scared because then you'd worry. 

I'm not scared because heights and clowns and dolls can't hurt me. 

At least not unless I let them. 

And I'm not scared because if I started to admit it I'd be a wreck. 

/I'm not scared of my family members dying 

because normal people don't have those nightmares 

or at least not as often as I do. 

I'm not scared because I don't have to ask for help. 

/I'm not scared that people will hate me or that I'm really powerless. 

Because if people knew i'd be even more scared. 

I'm not afraid of dying at least not as much as living 

/I'm not scared that one day my dad will confront me and ask why my writing sounds like a suicide letter. 

Because that was just a dream. 

I'm not afraid of loosing sleep because most of the time it's sleep that haunts me. 

I'm not afraid of spiders but I start to get cautious when I fall asleep on the floor. 

/I'm not afraid of moving again and I'm not afraid of growing up

Because that's life 

/and I'm not afraid of that

I'm not afraid of being alone

/not even when I'm hurting

I'm not afraid of black cats monsters or demons. 

/And I'm definitely not afraid of the sound of saxophones playing in the distance. 

But I might be afraid of you

And I might be afraid of me

Because were both so good at lying

(Look back anything with a / in front of the line was a lie. But I'm sure you already knew that)